Tuesday, December 8, 2009


This post is kind of inspired by the writers workshop prompts on Mama's Losin It http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/. Her prompts were inspired by a husband that lost his wife 27 hours after giving birth to their daughter and a woman who suffered a stroke and is now fighting to stay with her husband and family. I also follow a widow blogger at Keep Believing http://aboneill.blogspot.com/. I am terrified that something horrible like any of these stories could happen to my husband or I. As a child growing up I was never able to imagine myself grown up and I thought that meant I would die young. I don't know if it is normal for people to second guess their happiness like I do. Does anyone else worry their story won't get a happy ending?

It is a big scary world out there. I have friends who are dealing with their children having health issues. I have always thought about what I would do if we had trouble getting pregnant or keeping a pregnancy, but I have never thought about what if the child has health problems.

I have faith in God that keeps my anxiety about all of these things lower than it could be. So far he hasn't given me anything I couldn't handle and everything that was tough made me stronger. When you look at your blessings and the pretty easy road you have taken and compare it to others' tough roads, it is hard not to wonder when the other shoe will drop.

Working on some happier posts for the rest of this week.


  1. It IS a big scary world out there!! I try not to live in fear, but it is hard when so much is at risk!

    ps Link up tomorrow when I post the mister linky directly under my blog post.

  2. I often think about how I will die (and it's not always the old-peaceful-go-in-your-sleep type deal)...does that make me crazy? probably a little, but then you just gotta say "everything happens for a reason"

  3. Oh girl. Wait until you have kids. That anxiety goes through the roof worrying about their well being!

  4. this post spoke to me, my mother died about a yr and half ago of brain cancer, I was her constant care giver for the last six months of her life....I had always had allot of faith, but something about that time shook my faith to the core, I dont think I ever recovered, I have questioned my own stories ending ever since.....the last paragragh you wrote, sppoke to me.....thank you for sharing your fear....peace

  5. It's hard to not live in fear! If I think about it too much I tend to drive myself crazy!
    Thank you so much for coming by my blog and becoming a follower. I am now following you, too!

  6. I am always worried about our health, it could change for the worse in an instant. I always think, everything is so good right now so something bad is bound to happen soon! But every night, I thank God for giving us just one good day. Live one day at a time!

  7. Matthew 6:25-27 (New International Version)

    Do Not Worry
    25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life.

    I still feel like I have a chance at a happy ending. It's just in the epilogue.

    blessings to you.


  8. My grandmother was convinced that she was going to die before her 21st birthday, and even turned down a marriage proposal because she didn't think she'd see her wedding day.

    Luckily, she didn't die... and on her 21st birthday she opened the mailbox to find an engagement ring, sent by my grandfather while he was fighting in the Pacific during WWII.

    I don't think fears like that are abnormal, especially when confronted with the reality of pain all around us. But what makes life meaningful is continuing to be brave.

    It sounds like you're already doing that. :-)

  9. God never promises us, that as believers, we won't face hard times. He just promises us we won't face them alone. Put your faith in him and he will guide you. And if tragedy strikes, pray for his help, strength, and continued guidance.

    P.S. I wrote this as much for myself as I did for you.