Stopping the good guys from cheating

I am about half way through with Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love). I gotta read every chance I get because I have about 5 books checked out from the library right now and they keep coming.

I'm still really enjoying the book. My mom is reading it right now too. We had a little Skype book club meeting and she texted me when she got to a certain part. She is enjoying it to. I think women of all ages would enjoy it.

There is one part that I think you bloggy friends might be interested in. She did a ton of research on marriage and trying to make sure that she was making the right decision to get married again. She discussed that there are scientists who believe some men are genetically programmed (they have discovered a gene)to be monogamous. There are also some who are not (Tiger). I know my blog friends are smart enough to know a Tiger when they see one. So I won't worry about that. The part Elizabeth was confused by was when those that are non Tigers cheat.

Elizabeth was married in her twenties, for those of you that didn't read Eat, Pray, Love. If you haven't add to your to read list immediately! In Committed she explains that she thought getting married was like bringing a baby home from the hospital. Nurses and doctors give babies to mothers all the time even if the mom doesn't have all the skills and knowledge she needs. They have faith she will instinctively know what to do. That didn't work for her.

Here is just one tip she mentioned so far in the book about the non Tigers that cheat. She found a theory by some woman about how a marriage is a house that has windows and walls. There are windows into the marriage which are things you discuss with family and friends. There are also walls. Things that are private to your marriage that you don't discuss.

Non Tigers get into problems when they start rebuilding the marriage. They might have a friend that they aren't planning on doing anything wrong with. But if they start sharing things that are supposed to be protected by the wall or create a window where one shouldn't be and maybe build a wall between their spouse and them by not telling them about the relationship. Then problems might arise. She said if this happens that the person should obviously stop and let their spouse know what happened and put the house back in place.

I think it is good to know one theory of how these things happen so you and your spouse can avoid putting your self in that position. Keep your marriage house intact.