Ok, I promise I don't plan to talk about miscarriage again. I just found out another friend is pregnant and while I was processing the sting something occured to me and I wanted to share it.
Someone tweeted me recently and said someone else getting pregnant is not taking anything away from me. I kind of agree with this but last night I thought of a better explanation for why it stings.
Let me for a minute discuss my situation. I stopped taking birth control at the end of March 2012. Yes, I was still nursing Chase but lots of women get pregnant when nursing. I remember telling my sil that I didn't want to drink because I wasn't taking birth control anymore. I think it is pretty common for women to hope and pray that as soon as they make the decision to get pregnant that it will happen quickly.
So what I thought about last night is it is kind of like getting in an imaginary line. When you make that decision to start trying it is like getting in God's baby line. I know that there are women who have been in line longer than I have and I have Chase but it still stings when someone that hasn't been waiting in line very long gets pregnant. I also understand that even getting pregnant at all is something some women might be jealous of.
But all of this doesn't change the fact that I feel like I've been in this line for almost a year with nothing to show for it. Yes it is a little like a kindergartner being pissed about someone cutting in line but that is kind of how it feels. Does that make sense?