Introducing my new favorite phrase- Douche Canoe

*Anyone know where I heard Douche Canoe from so I can give them credit?

I have seen a lot of people posting what their fall TV schedules will be. I think I have already convinced you all of my TV addiction. When the dvr died a few weeks ago I added Glee to the list. I don’t know why I didn’t do this earlier. I have since seen the NPH episode and the Gaga episode. I am a total Gleek now. I cannot wait for the Britney episode! My dvr twin and I are considering adding Running Wilde to the line up. Hubby wanted to add The League. It is a show about guys playing fantasy football. Hubby, you have four football leagues and one baseball league. You want to watch a show about it too? But this is not the point of this post. If you want to see the list of all the shows I had on my dead dvr go here. The point of this post is for you to also read my comments about the people on the show Raising Sextuplets. If you are too lazy, I said, “I haven’t seen this show in awhile, maybe they got smart and decided to not be on TV and turn into Jon and Kate.” Or something like that cause guess who is the Queen of lazy, yours truly.

Well, I don’t know if anyone watches this show, but they didn’t decide to stop taping. Their show was on WE this summer. They decided to pack up their six kids and take them across the country from both sets of grandparents for a job the husband might get. It was painful to watch. Every week I would yell at the TV and tell them they were stupid and they should listen to their parents who were devastated that they were taking their grandchildren away from them. The mother of the children, Jenny, is amazing. You can tell she adores her children. The father, Bryan, is a douche canoe. If he is the only one at home with the kids he ignores them or has a neighbor kid watch them. His wife knows this and has said on the show she doesn’t really trust him to watch their children. Every wife’s dream, right?

One point that I think shocked a lot of the viewers was when they were packing their house up to move and the grandparents and kids were all kind of getting in the way. Bryan lost it and decided all the kids needed to leave. He starts picking up kids and ranting and raving. One of the kids was being held by Jenny’s mom. I don’t know exactly what happened if the kids was scared and clinging to grandma or if the kid got caught on her necklace but Bryan was trying to grab the kid and grandma was saying I’m trying to give them to you and he screamed give me the kid and yanked the kid away. It was scary.

This couple obviously has issues. They go to a counselor on the show and they discuss his rage. I think some of their problems involve the grandparents. I think that is why they moved away from them. On Sept. 11th, Bryan was arrested, “on suspicion of domestic violence while visiting family in Camp Verde , Ariz. , threatened to "flatten" his father-in-law and screamed profanities while in the presence of his 3-year-old kids, according to the police report. And, per the cops, Masche continued to refuse to play nice until he was confronted with the threat of a Taser zap. Masche at first refused to let the arresting officers cuff him, yelling "I didn't do anything!" and firmly folding his arms in front of him to prevent them from getting at his wrists, the report states. Finally, one officer told another to deploy his Taser, after which Masche wised up. Sort of. " Bryan complied prior to the Taser being deployed," the report continues. " Bryan was then assisted back to his feet (that’s my favorite part, what happened there?) and escorted to my vehicle where he was secured. While in my patrol vehicle, Bryan continued to be belligerent." Wife Jenny Masche told the police that the belligerence started when she informed her husband that she was going to visit friends in Phoenix , while he wanted to take their children to Lake Havasu City .” Source eonline.com Uh, really? You get that pissed off about this? Dr. Phil and I have a real problem with this, “ Bryan started yelling and using profanity in front of the kids, Jenny said, and also threatened Jenny's father when he tried to intervene. The incident remained verbal and never got physical, the report says, but firearms (?!) were present in a nearby vehicle and Masche was becoming "more aggressive" as the fight dragged on. Bryan , 32, has pleaded not guilty to three counts of domestic violence involving disorderly conduct and threats, as well as one count of resisting arrest.” The part of this article that kills me is this, “‘We have totally brutal fights," Jenny told People in 2009.” You used the word brutal when talking to a magazine? If you used the word brutal to a friend I would be concerned. It must be really bad.

*You do all that is mentioned above and this is your mug shot? Congratulations you are a douche canoe! I told Neely if he was my husband I would give him something to smile about.

At what point do you take yourself and your family off of TV? It can’t be easy having 8 kids or sextuplets. I guess that is why these shows are so popular. Have you seen there is another family with a show on after Kate Plus 8? It’s called Quints By Surprise. Aren’t we all aware that multiples are a possibility with invitro now? Why are these people putting themselves on TV? Are you watching? I’m not. My heart can’t handle falling for these sweet children and then watching their parents fight or get divorced.
One website I found said that physical violence is estimated to occur in 4 to 6 million intimate relationships each year in the United States . So maybe with reality TV being so popular the odds were very high that it would end up on TV.

On Monday night, another reality star was arrested for domestic violence. “Simon Barney, who filed for divorce from Tamra earlier this year, was arrested for domestic violence and faces arraignment Tuesday. Sheriff's deputies also placed an emergency protective order against him. Simon Barney allegedly threw a dog leash at her, police say. Apparently Simon went to his ex-wife's home to return the dog he was watching. According to the victim, he threw a retractable dog leash at her, she lifted her arm in a defensive move, and it struck her wrist." Source people.com. Everyone that watches Real Housewives of OC knows that Simon is another douche canoe and a control freak.

That statistic I shared earlier is pretty astonishing. I pray no one has to suffer from domestic violence and if you or someone you know is suffering that you get help for yourself or them. There should be some kind of screening process. The part that makes me sad is producers probably know that these people are freak shows and are choosing to put these canoes on TV for ratings.