Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Tips and Tricks Tuesday: parenting books

Tips and Tricks Tuesday
Tuesday again already?! This week we are talking about parenting books! I think I've read every book ever written.
When we were on our 1st anniversary trip and a few months pregnant our bell hop that we told our life story to suggested we read Happiest Baby on the Block. A few other people recommended it while I was pregnant too so I read the book and we watched the video before Chase arrived. Like most people that watch the video we thought the man was insanse shushing so loud in a baby's ear on its side. Then Chase arrived and that first night in the hospital we were jiggling, shushing, and we even got him to sleep like an hour in the bassinet by laying him on his side. I told everyone I knew to read that book because we would have had no clue how to calm a newborn without it.
Now that I have a 15.5 month old with sleep issues, I'm not so sure how I feel about Happiest Baby on the Block. Like I said I've read all the other books written now and they all say you shouldn't put your baby in their crib asleep and you shouldn't rock or jiggle them. Dr. Harvey Karp is the author of Happiest Baby on the Block and his whole argument was that you couldn't spoil a baby in their first 4 months of life. But we now have a spoiled 15.5 month old that lately has been sleeping with us.
I now recommend the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. She has a method for putting newborns to sleep that I would try if we were blessed with another one. She also has a method for getting kiddos to sleep after they have been spoiled like Dr. Karp told us to do. We have used her method to get Chase unaddicted to the rocking. We plan to use her method to get him sleeping through the night. Her method is called the pick up/put down method. She is against abandonment cry it out like Ferber or Healthy Sleep Habits. We tried cry it out in the past and I noticed Chase suffering more from separation anxiety. So I don't do it and don't let his other care takers do it either.
The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems doesn't discuss too much in regards to setting limits for toddlers. For Chase's age she suggests distracting him. Well one of our big problems recently has been Chase climbing on our dining room chairs while I'm doing the dishes or cooking meals. He is pretty good about listening when we say no and we might have gotten through to him but I decided to pick up Happiest Toddler on the Block to see what he suggests.
I'm on page 200 in Happiest Toddler on the Block. He has some crazy suggestions this time but maybe they work. He suggests mirroring your child's emotions and using short phrases to describe them. So if your child is mad his friend took his toy and looks like he is going to hit his friend you are supposed to "stomp your feet, shake your head, make a big frown, and flail your amrs...and passionately say, 'Mad! Mad! MAD!...'".
Chase will throw tantrums more when he is tired and I've tried using this technique and it hasn't really helped. I can't wait until I get the video and make my husband and dad watch it. I expect lots of eyerolls.
Happiest Toddler on the Block has some suggestions for sleep issues which I plan to read to my husband tonight. He basically gives you options like the baby whisperer's method and the ferber method.
I saw another toddler book on instagram that I might check out since I'm not too excited about Dr. Karp's methods. What toddler parenting books do you like?


  1. Hi, just came to say hi to my fellow co-host of the bloghop! Do drop by my blog when you get the chance!

  2. Hi-I've heard of many of these books but I've only read baby whisperer and sibling without rivaly is a MUST when there is more than one. :) I am over from the hop your newest follower!!! Congrats on your baby Chase


  3. Hi from the hop! I don't see your link-up info anywhere. Not sure if it's my browser or not. Nevertheless, stopping by to say hello, that I'm now following your blog, and I really like your photo header!

  4. YES to Happiest Baby on the Block. I don't know how we would've survived the newborn stage without those tips/tricks. I also really like Grace Based Parenting and The Emotional Life of a Toddler- great info in there. I could go on and on about how many books have helped us: 123 Magic, The Vaccine Book, The No Cry Sleep Solution, etc. I don't follow one specific "method" of parenting, but have learned a lot from all sorts of different books; that combined with our own common sense created our parenting style. I'm going to have to check out Happiest Toddler on the Block. :)

  5. I think the statement that 'you can't spoil an infant' is a bit misunderstood. Of course it doesn't cause any damage to give an infant everything they want the instant they ask for it, but I think an infant can get used to a certain level of reaction from you that you or your family may not be able to or willing to provide. We followed a pretty not-spoiling approach to getting our daughter to sleep (it involved letting her cry, but I wouldn't call it abandonment, since checked on her regularly and stood by her and talked to her), and she has slept beautifully - through the night - since she was 7 weeks old. She also shows no attachment issues at all, although her personality is very non-clingy. She has never really liked being held too much, and even as an infant it took us awhile to realize that when she was screaming sometimes she just wanted to be PUT DOWN!! So that may have been part of it - we'll see with the next baby! :) There are so many different 'methods' out there for sleep (and parenting in general), and I think it's good to learn about a lot of different ones and decide what works for you. Good luck!

  6. Following you from the Blog Hop!
    Please come by and check out my new blog!

  7. You recommended some great books! I've read them all and now on my 4th baby I feel like I finally have it figured out, ha! we don't do cry it out either (tried it once and it just didn't feel right to me!) and I think the happiest baby book appeals more to parents with infants who are colicy, etc. New follower of your blog :)

  8. I think that a lot of times the problem is parents buying into ONE author and following their ONE method to the tee, like it's gospel truth. I loved Happiest Baby on the Block and highly recommend it for first-time moms who need to know how to soothe a baby. However, I always put my baby (who slept through the night at 6 weeks) down drowsy but awake & let her cry it out a few times starting around the 3 month mark. I thought Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child did a really good job of explaining biologically what my baby's sleep needs were. I didn't like BabyWise but do believe there should be routine/scheduling. I'm not 100% an Attachment Parent, but I do breastfeed and babywear.

    I think the best method is knowing what kind of a mom you are, knowing your baby, and taking bits and pieces from lots of different authors to find what works for you!

  9. Hey there! Just wanted to say thanks again for co-hosting the Mixer! Let me know if you want me to put your name back in the rotation! :)