Thursday, December 5, 2013
This amazing blessing has not come easy
This is the last picture taken of me pregnant with Chase. I am two days past my due date. Earlier that day Hubby called me on his lunch break and I was crying hysterically. At 38 weeks I was dilated 1-2 cms and everyone thought Chase would come early. At 2 days past my due date I was done. I was convinced Chase was never going to get out of my belly.
I've always regretted being miserable the last 2-3 weeks of my pregnancy with Chase. Any calls or texts or facebook messages asking "no baby yet?" pissed me off. I often wouldn't respond.
I think our society has made it seem like we are supposed to be miserable at the end of our pregnancy. I think I've talked about it before that it seems like people expect us to be miserable our entire pregnancy but especially at the end. Oh you poor thing you must be miserable! When are you due? Etc. etc.
Now looking back at this picture not only do I regret being grumpy I kind of want to laugh. I'm telling you I think I'm the same size or bigger now! I'm 27 weeks pregnant with twins and even though I am so excited to have twins I want to smack myself upside the head and tell myself how lucky I was.
Yesterday, I was telling a twitter friend that I am getting to the point where making dinner is painful. My back and my hips really hurt. She asked if I had any of the same aches and pains when I was pregnant with Chase and I honestly don't think I did. I had a boring pregnancy with Chase. It was easy. I just got my hopes up at 38 weeks and I'm not a very patient person.
I want to talk about the differences between having a singleton and having twins. I realize that singleton pregnancies have their complications. I know all of you at the end of your pregnancies probably want to punch me and say this is not easy! I am uncomfortable and huge. I'm just comparing my experiences.
I've often said from the moment the ultrasound tech said there were two sacs I worried. You hear a lot of horror stories. I've always said I was naïve when pregnant with Chase. I didn't have an ultrasound until 13 weeks with him and just thought everything was fine and it was. I remember after I started feeling Chase kick thinking to myself I haven't felt him kick in awhile or doing kick counts. With a singleton you feel a kick you know who it is. I've got two in here to worry about now! I'm constantly trying to make sure I've felt both of them kick.
I never thought for one second about pre term labor when I was pregnant with Chase. When they told me I was 1-2 cms at 38 weeks I hadn't felt one contraction. With twins I worry that every ache and pain is pre term labor.
That hip pain I was talking about earlier? I know I have a high tolerance for pain. I was 6-7 cms when I got to the hospital. My hip feels like it is going to shatter. I know if it is bad enough to make me want to cry that it would have some women calling their doctor. I lay on my right side to give my left hip a break and then the whole time worry because you are supposed to lay on your left side.
I'm a substitute teacher. With Chase I went on maternity leave at 38 weeks when I started having contractions. If my water broke while I was teaching I'm not sure what I would have done. At 21 weeks with the twins I was teaching one day and my legs were KILLING me. Again, I have a high tolerance for pain and I was in so much pain I wanted to cry. I tried putting my feet up which didn't really help. Plus it wouldn't look good if someone came in and the sub had their feet up so I made the decision to go on maternity leave. I saw no way for me to be able to be on my feet and come home and take care of Chase without being in excruciating pain.
I'm not sure if I can explain it well enough for everyone to understand. It might be one of those things unless you experience it you can't understand. It is so important for us all to appreciate how lucky we are which I hope everyone thinks I do. To take a minute and to think about how someone else might be feeling. When I hear Britney Spears say she wants twins it just irks me. Again, they are the biggest blessing I have ever received but they don't come easy.