What's your secret emoji? 🔥

  On a recent wine tasting birthday party that got bachelor party wild, I discovered something. Other people use a secret emoji for, let's call it "alone time". Conversation got silly, because, wine and my friend told me their secret emoji.
   If you are making a confused face at your phone or computer right now because you don't know what I'm talking about, let me explain. Couples develop a secret code when texting somehow and organically an emoji becomes code for "alone time".
   I'm not going to tell you what ours is. I'll tell you it is one of the emojis that you can pick the skin tone. I think my friends were over one night and Hubby was out with some guys from work and we were texting. I was just trying to be funny and I sent him an emoji with the darkest skin tone choice. My friend and I started using it as a joke and then one night I sent it to Hubby and the rest is history.
   So I'm dying to know, what's your emoji. If you are too embarrassed, you can leave an anonymous comment.
   Is it

???

Tell me!

Also, a big shout out to my fellow twin mama blogger irl friend, Cori at Hey, Let's Make Stuff. I ran this idea by her first and messaged emojis to her to take screen shots of. Check her blog out it's super cute!

Parenting by connection

   I wanted to clear up something after my last post, I need flylady because I have a form of perfectionism that paralyzes me from doing anything and also severe laziness. I want my house to look perfect when people come over but a lot of the time it is a disaster. I also have a temper. In my journey to become a calmer and happier mom I found flylady, started waking up before my kids and I found parenting by connection.
   I have been reading and posting parenting by connection, positive parenting or hand in hand parenting articles for about a year now. We don't give our children time outs. We believe our children are good and want to behave. We try not to yell at our kids. When we see them acting up or not listening we know it is time for special time.
   Special time is 5 minutes where the child gets your undivided attention to do whatever they want to do. A lot of times for us its a chasing game, board game, or dodge ball. The idea behind parenting by connection is if your child is well rested, fed, and feeling connected to you they will have good behavior. (Sometimes the tv is the babysitter while I have 5 minutes of special time with a child).

   We allow our kids to have tantrums. We know that everyone sometimes needs to have a tantrum. When I first started learning about parenting by connection, there were articles about children with 45 minutes tantrums. It is called stay listening when you stay with your child and listen while they tantrum. I remember watching the clock thinking ok this could go for 45 minutes. So far we haven't had one that long. They do get shorter as they work through all their issues.
   We do still set limits and have high expectations. We still tell our children they are not allowed to hurt anyone else. Our kids are 4 and 1.5 so learning to control that fight or flight urge is tough. I've recently seen Chase's little fist ball up and see him control his urge to hit.
   Sometimes when you set a limit, for example about tv watching, a tantrum will follow. I swear every single time we turned the tv off when Chase was three he would have a tantrum. It isn't always an issue about the tv. Sometimes they are dealing with something that happened at school and they are now deciding to get that emotion out.
   Chase recently said something rude to me. I told him it hurt my feelings when he said that. I asked him if he meant to hurt my feelings. He said no. We talked about a nicer way he could have talked to me. Then he told me something someone at school had said to him that hurt his feelings.
   We know this is a different parenting method and some will read this and think our children are going to grow up to be adults that have tantrums and hit and bite other people, but this is what we feel is the right choice for our family and we will deal with whatever the future holds. We think our children will learn how to control their anger and find appropriate times and places to release it. We think our children will always feel close to us and their brothers.

My secret for waking up before the kids

   Sleep is one of my favorite things. In high school I could sleep until 1 pm. I gave it all up for my babies. I don't think I slept for 3 years. I go to bed at the same time as Hubby but always justified sleeping in with I'm getting up with the babies in the middle of the night. Well, I'm no longer getting up with the babies in the middle of the night (insert confetti and salsa dancer emoji). I now have a child that has to get to school in the morning. I tried sleeping until the babies woke up and getting everyone out the door for a few months. I didn't like the mom I was rushing around and angry in the mornings. I tried the old fashioned set an alarm and get up. Didn't work.

   I'm kind of embarrassed to share my secret for waking up before the kids...

 

I call a game of bingo Monday through Friday at 6:30 am. 

   I'm sure you are super confused now. Awhile ago I found a cleaning guru called Flylady. She doesn't do a weekly cleaning checklist. She suggests starting routines. Our evening routine is to do the dishes before we go to bed. I started following her on facebook and found some other groups that follow her. I'm in a group called 5,10,15 clean. They have bingo cleaning games through out the day.

   What is a bingo cleaning game? You pick 9 things you need to get done. 3 that you will spend 15 minutes on, 3 you will spend 10 minutes on, and 3 you will spend 5 minutes on. There is a caller that posts a number and then you do that number for the amount of time and when the time is up you come back for the next call. You might think you need longer than 5 or 15 minutes to do things but you would probably be surprised. Anyways, it has helped motivate me to clean to have other people cleaning and deciding what to clean. I have issues prioritizing things. Bingo and flylady helped motivate me to clean and decorate our master. 

   So Monday through Friday my alarm goes off at 6:25am and I jump on to facebook and let everyone know the game will start in 5 minutes. At 6:30 I post the first number. There are other women from all over the world that join in and post what they are doing. Since I have to keep posting calls/numbers I just get out of bed and get ready for the day. The babies wake up around 7ish. Today they are still asleep at 7:35! I actually need to go wake Chase up because he has school today. 

   That's my secret for getting up before my kids. If you live in a different time zone there are probably games at the time you would need to be getting up. Join the group! If there isn't a game at the time you need, you can call one! It is really easy! Let me know if you have any other questions!

10 things I believe

10. Parenting by connection is the best parenting technique ever
9. They will find a cure for peanut allergies
8. God, Jesus, and Heaven are real
7. Ellyn Satter's strategies for picky eaters is the best
6. Having twins was one of the best things that ever happened to me
5. Meeting my husband was the best thing that ever happened to me
4. Becoming a mom was the second best thing that ever happened to me
3. in God's plan
2. in reading
1. in prayer

Kyle and Austin are 16 months

   I have been blogging and trying to remember everything with Chase starting school. You two monkeys have been up to a lot that I don't want to forget either!
   Now that you are 16 months and big brother has school twice a week our morning nursing sessions have ended. It was time and you've given me a couple nights of ok sleep or going back to sleep after I rub orajel on your molars so we are done. I was a little sad but mostly happy.
   Austin aka Chunky Monkey is still a chunk. You are hilarious too. Last night I was telling Daddy about our dance party with Grandma and your crazy legs and turns and running around the kitchen island. I love you so much. You are such a snuggler. You love when Grandma comes because she will hold you.

 Your zip up jammies are always unzipped. I like that Grandma said you do it to give your belly more room. You are still ball obsessed. You are still dramatic. You love to play peekaboo. You love to read books. You love to sit in the weirdest things.

  We have been hanging out at Nana and Papa's pool since its summer and hot. You are pretty content to float around a splash a little. You even try to kick your legs.

 We think you are starting to say some words. Papa sounds like Baba and you make a ch sound for Chase. You love to cheers and say a chss sound. Oh the kisses from you! Amazing!

   Kyle Crocodile, I think you are getting your bottom molars and it is making you a little pissy lately but my goodness you let us know when you are frustrated! You aren't so content to float in the pool. You think you can swim and/or drink the water. You are always trying to get out of everyone's arms and the floatie. You are still our smallest child. You are still high maintenance and usually end up in Mama's arms. You are still the first to smile at strangers and recently someone called you the sweet one. It made both your grandmothers laugh. Oh, I didn't write a blog update when you graduated from therapy! Your neck is looking awesome. I still see a tilt every once in awhile but we have the tools and resources and think it will continue to improve. Oh my Kyle, when you do something silly and crack yourself up nothing brings a bigger smile to my face. You love being silly. You don't seem to attempt as many words as Austin. But you do talk in your own little language. You love to talk on the phone. Oh Kyle, you love to vacuum!

  You are a big fan of kissing too. You have your own little Kyle dance move spin around with one arm out. You finally started clapping. You love to run. You still love cars and planes and helicopters and dinosaurs. You love to cheers too. You are a daredevil. You fell off the retaining wall in the backyard and got a nasty bruise on your forehead. You love to eat sand. You put a lot of stuff in your mouth. You love to eat books.

First week of school

Chase,
   You are snoozing on the floor in the family room in a "camping ship" aka fort after your first week of school.
   After two days of school you are still working on learning your teacher's name. Today when we ask you what your teacher's name is you say, "Teacher or Miss Harriet". That's Daniel Tiger's teacher's name. You like to watch the TV show Daniel Tiger. I just introduced you to Barney this week and you told me today you didn't want to turn it off because you needed to learn.
   From what you have told me about your day it sounds like you keep lining up when the kids are lining up to go to the other teacher's class.
   You have said a couple times you only want to make two or three friends. Today you said you had four friends. You said someone asked you how old you are.
   Day 1 you painted scales on a fish with celery and put rice on a starfish.

  I can't tell you how much I love your very first school art projects! You said you made two jellyfish on the second day. I think we might have to give one to Grandma.
   On day 2 you said you played with dinosaurs and one boy had a lot and didn't want to share with you but a girl shared with you and there were two triceratops. You said you waited patiently and eventually they went to play with something else and you got to play with the dinos. You said you looked at books in your classroom and there was a shark book like yours and a dolphin book. You said you sang songs that you didn't know. One about a train.
   You love school. You said you want to go every day. In the morning 30 minutes before we had to leave you said you were ready to go to school. In the car on the way to school you said you missed your school.
   Your teacher says you are doing great and that makes us so proud! Love you buddy! Keep up the great work!

Starting school soon...

   Today is your 5th father's day. You are downstairs laying in a fort not sleeping. I was scrolling through facebook and instagram and remembered that I should use this time to write down everything I want to remember about this time in our lives.

   You were so excited to give Daddy his presents this morning and go mini golfing. Your first time mini golfing was in May for Holden's birthday and you have been hooked ever since. We have gone with your bff Zeph. The next person you wanted to go with was Nana and Papa. I searched the calendar for a free weekend day and thought Father's day would be perfect! They surprised you by showing up today. We had a blast! One of my balls hit Daddy and he said it hit him in his "twig and berries" and you said "twig and berries!" and were cracking up!
   You've been really excited the last few days because you start school Tuesday! You keep asking me if it is school day. It is also motivating me to write a few things down because this is a huge change for us! And here come the tears.
   I asked Papa to drive with us for emotional support. Last night I told Daddy I might be ok dropping you off by myself. Its just been you and me for four years. I know we added those two crazy monster, Kyle and Austin. There were also the days I went to work and you stayed with Papa. But the majority of our time is you and me buddy.
   I had a moms night out the other day and you helped me pick out my outfit and accessories. I've also discussed my upcoming hair color change with you. When you look in my eyes and reach for me and pucker those lips, that is my most favorite thing in the world.
   The things that you think of now are so funny. Last night you said you wanted to buy Daddy a car for Father's Day!
   You love your whole family so good. Recently I could tell you were feeling a little off so I asked you if you could go on a date with anyone, who would you want to go with. You said your whole family. So the five of us headed to red robin! You had so much fun and thought the corn dog and milkshake were so yummy! You have talked about it for awhile. Wanted to hold my hand in the picture. I'll treasure that forever!

   You try to be sweet to your brothers and it melts my heart when you are. You've started helping me sing to them when I put them to sleep. You also like to help change their diapers. You like to help me with a lot of stuff. You are so cute with all babies. You will make a great daddy some day even though you say now you don't want to get married or go to college and just want to be a stay at home son.

   You have some crazy dance moves. Always saying mommy watch! Tackling your brothers is another favorite thing to do. We went swimming at Papa's and you used water wings for the first time and loved them! You were jumping in and swimming all over.
   You have been really in to board and card games lately. It has been fun playing games with you!

   Daddy and I were talking about how much you are going to love school. I'm so excited for you to learn and make new friends. I hope you continue to make good choices and make us proud. Love you always!